Gnomes!

Have you seen the adverts for this new gnome movie, Gnomeo and Juliet?  It’s about red gnomes in one garden (the Capulets) and blue gnomes in the other (the Montegues), and Gnomeo and Juliet are in gnome love but they come from warring gnome families.  Did anyone bother to finish reading the play?  They’re both dead in the end!  I have reason to hope that Gnomeo and Juliet has a better ending- for one, it’s a cartoon.   

I happen to like gnomes.  Anyone remember David the Gnome?  

David riding a fox.  They were friends.  You know you would if you could. 

David and his gnome wife, Lisa.  Exchanging boogers is a customary greeting in the gnome world. 

 Or how about this?  I can still sing along! 

 

 

Troy, my brother, and I used to watch this show all the time growing up!  In the theme song it says, “And if your heart is true, then you will find them, too.”  I remember thinking that if I kept hoping and being a good person, they would show themselves to me and I could hang out with David and Lisa.  They never did.  Guess that means my heart isn’t true.  

FALSE

 

This gnome is named Alastair.  He lives in my front yard.  I painted him! 

"Hi, I'm Alastair!  Stay the %&$* off the grass!  Have a nice day!"

And I used MS Paint to "paint" this one!  Ha!  

I never was one for "scale" and "proportional functionality." 

Everybody loves gnomes!  Just check out this Di-gnome! 

"MY BEARD IS ITCHY AND I CAN'T REACH MY CHIN!"

 

And this is a portrait of Troy in his gnome hat. 

Troy.  Brother.  Enjoyed cartoons about gnomes in his youth. 

Okay, fine, and a portrait of me in my gnome hat.  

No laughing.  This is serious gnome business.